Effective Communication Skills

Intercultural Communication Techniques

The cultures and value systems that people identify with can often influence their perceptions of what constitutes effective and appropriate communication. For example, things like when the appropriate time to talk about something is, what is an appropriate level of emotional display, who should be involved or not in a conversation, and whether something should be said directly or in a “softer” more indirect way are all examples of the many considerations around communication that can be influenced by people’s cultures. 

In this way, communicating across cultures can oftentimes result in misunderstandings and misinterpretations, in which the intention behind something communicated is different than how that communication is received by another. Misunderstandings can be a natural outcome of any conversation between people, but it can especially be common when that communication happens across cultural differences. Below are a number of practices that support volunteers can use in their work, which can be particularly helpful at reducing the chances of miscommunication and enhancing the efficacy of communication.

Be mindful of possible cultural differences but avoid assumptions

Being mindful and reflective of some of the possible cultural differences that could be at play for your participant and host family can be a very helpful starting point. However, cultures attached to geographic regions or countries are just one component of people’s identities, and so we also cannot assume fully that any participant will behave a certain way or feel a certain way, simply because of where they were born and raised. Being aware and being mindful of the possible cultural differences at play, while simultaneously avoiding assumptions about your participant, allows you to relate to your participant in ways that are effective and relevant to the uniqueness of the context and their individuality.  

The following resources provide helpful insight for AFS volunteers into how to be mindful of culture when relating to your student: 

• Learn more about Cultural Considerations and Tools for Promoting Learning by clicking here.
• Learn more about Support and Intercultural Learning by clicking here.

Listen Openly

One of the most important ways to communicate is to listen. Listening is the bridge between hearing and understanding. All cultures use listening skills in different ways. Good human relations depend on people understanding one another’s meaning, whatever words they happen to use.  Effective listening requires you to: 

• Give full attention to the speaker.
• Put aside any preconceived ideas of what the speaker is going to say.
• Be alert for any confusion or points that can be clarified further, and ask questions to get clarity.
• Let the speaker know that they has been heard, for example by repeating or paraphrasing the content you received.

Before you respond with answers, next steps, or advice, remember to take your time to listen. It can be helpful to think of conversations first as time for you to gather insight and information about the participant's experiences, and then secondly to begin talking about next steps. Your responsibility as a support volunteer is to help the participant find his or her own answers. Refrain from giving advice prematurely and allow the participant to share fully and bounce their ideas off of you. Remember to stay on the subject by focusing on what has been said; try to avoid thinking ahead about what you will say next.

Suspend Judgement

Good listening is harder than we think. When we listen, our minds can sometimes race ahead as we interpret and form mental conclusions about what has been said. Effective listening therefore asks us to try and slow that thought process down. Focus on what is being said moment-to-moment. Assume good intention of the person speaking. In addition, consider reflecting on your own cultural lenses that might be playing a role in how you interpret what is being said. 

Quick judgments can hinder open and effective communication and complete understanding, especially in cases where problems or misunderstandings are involved. Click here to learn more about suspending judgment.

Be mindful of non-verbal communication

Language is only one way in which we communicate. The ways we gesture, our posture, our tone of voice, where we direct our eyes, and the amount of distance we keep between ourselves and others —these are all examples of nonverbal communication that can be very powerful.  Be aware of the nonverbal messages the speaker is giving you, and be aware of how your nonverbal communication may be interpreted by others. Attend to pauses, tone of voice, bodily reactions, and glances. You can read a great deal about what someone is saying and how they feel about it if you are taking in these unconscious messages as well.

It’s important to note that many cultures differ in their understandings of what certain gestures mean. For example, in many parts of the world, direct eye contact is seen as important and valuable to effective communication, whereas other cultures may think of direct eye contact as the opposite and may conversely view averting one's eyes or lowering one's gaze as the respectful thing to do. 

Click here to view more information on Personal Space Across Cultures. As an AFS Volunteer working with students from around the world, it may be necessary for you to adjust your eye contact, body posture, and verbal behavior to participants’ cultural, ethnic, and individual differences in order to achieve effective communication with them, at least at first. Trial and error may be key. 

Silence

Silence is often useful as a tool in communication. Respect someone’s need to be silent; a student especially may be using that time to work things out in their own mind before continuing a discussion. You may need to resist the impulse to rush in and save someone from what seems to be an awkward pause by filling it with talk. Your use of silence can allow the participant the time to think and can convey positive nonverbal messages as well.

Consider giving the speaker reaction time of at least 8-10 seconds before you follow up.

Discussing feelings and emotions

Discussing feelings is often an important prerequisite to resolving challenges. The posture, voice, and mannerisms of individuals often provide important information about their emotions. You can then use what you observe to help the participant voice their emotions. One of the most important aspects of helping someone else is developing the ability to reflect back to them the feelings you sense from them, allowing them to verify, clarify, or explain further. When you reflect on the feelings of another, it can help that person become aware of, accept, and explore that feeling. It can also help you demonstrate that you understand what the individual is experiencing, and it can build trust and rapport. 

Consider using the DIVE model (as outlined here in the Cultural Considerations and Tools for Promoting Learning  Microlearning Video) to help you pick up on and comment on possible shown emotions (for example: “I’m seeing that your eyes are a little teary, and that makes me wonder if you’re upset about something. Is that right?”). You can also summarize the statements of another, indicating that you are hearing what they are saying.  Paraphrasing is particularly helpful and has the power to acknowledge and validate. 

Effective Inquiry

Inquiry and asking questions is a crucial component of communication. Asking questions should be considered a tool to help you develop a comprehensive understanding of what someone is communicating to you. Inquiry can take different forms. There can be open inquiry, closed inquiry, and minimal encouragement.  

Open Inquiry

Open inquiries can be an effective way to open and sustain meaningful conversation. They provide opportunity to discuss a range of topics that are relevant to the speaker, to explore and clarify concerns, and to allow the opportunity to elaborate on a subject.  

Open inquiries include: 

• Asking an open-ended question (one that cannot be answered by a “yes,” “no,” or a simple fact). 
• Starting a question with “could” or “can,” as this approach provides the participant with the greatest flexibility for a response. 
• Using “How” questions, which are usually people-oriented and focus on the process. 
• Avoid questions beginning with “why.” This approach can often provoke defensive feelings or feel more like you’re trying to prove a point rather than find out information. 
• Asking for clarification (ex: “when you said that he was being disrespectful, can you say more about that?”) 
• Asking for specifics and examples (ex: “when you said that he was being disrespectful, what did he do that was disrespectful?”)  

Closed Inquiry

Closed inquiries are questions that can be answered with a “yes,” “no,” or a simple fact. You may need to use this type of question when you need information that is important to the progress of the discussion or to file a report. While it offers less opportunity for open discussion, and when used a lot in a conversation it may not be as successful at facilitating a full understanding, it can be helpful in gathering quick facts.  

Minimal Encouragement

Minimal Encouragement is used to indicate to others that you are interested in what they have to say. Once you have asked a question, encourage the person to continue talking by employing a prompt that indicates you are listening and want them to continue. Minimal encouragement techniques include: 

• Using words such as “and then?”, “mmhmm...”, and “right”
• Repeating a few keywords from a person’s previous statement

When you talk, it can help to remember that the way you speak can have a great effect on how you are received by the participant. That, in turn, can affect how they proceed to share with you. When you speak, use a warm, expressive voice that allows the participant to relax and concentrate on the subject under discussion. Pace your words to the conversation so the other person is not feeling pressured by rapid or abrupt speech. Allow time between each question you ask to allow an answer to flow naturally. 

Be mindful of possible language difficulties

Even when students’ command of English is good, sometimes talking about complex feelings and experiences can be hard for them. Misunderstandings are very common. The AFS volunteer is key to helping students feel heard and understood. Tips include: